Bluff City Zoo

From fattwiki

“The Bluff City Zoo was a world-class institution, visited by locals and travelers alike. In the late 20th Century it was an iconic zoo, admired and beloved, it’s animals were content, it’s visitors happy, it’s staff respected. Chairman of the Zoo Board, D.E. Hitchcock the Fourth, welcomed people to the grounds with beaming pride as his father had for a generation before.

Now, D.E. Hitchcock is dead, the community takes the zoo for granted, attendance is down, the Zoo withers. The zookeepers grow desperate. Money is tight. Other, more successful zoos, in other cities (fuck Trenton) sniff around the place, looking to take away animals and staff.”

The Bluff City Zoo is located in the north of Bluff City, past the casinos, towards the mainland and into a marshland area. Part of the march was drained and reinforced it with concrete for the Zoo to be built on.

The staff uniform is a half-sized apron with deep pockets and an embroidered vest with your name and what area you work in. Staff must also wear a nice shirt (that they purchase).

Attractions[edit | edit source]

  • Aviary
  • Elephants (removed due to a painting incident)
  • Great cats!
  • Pachyderms
  • Peacock Park, where the daily zoo press briefings occur. It has a storeroom that is decorated with a ugly mural done by local 5th graders.
  • Bears - polar bears, black bear, panda (their sun bear escaped).
  • Conservation exhibit presented by the local chapter of the Bluff City Nature Preservationist Society, includes a mural with quotes about nature written on it (located between the bathrooms and the gift shop).
  • CyberZoo/"How Would Animals Use The Internet?”: an exhibit aimed at children with displays of technology that animals were supposed to able to use, including a wall-sized dot matrix printer to print out things from the internet for the animals to read (as screens are bad for animal eyes). The bird section of this exhibit has a little fake tree with keyboard keys hanging off of it. This is the exhibit that Dax Leopard was passed over for.
  • Zoo Cafe, which has a 3/3 star health rating and provides breakfast, lunch, tea, high tea, dinner and evening dinner.
  • Bluff City Zoo Bar, which includes an arcade game built for bears to play (HoneyTap) and a private room in the back.

Zoo Expansion Project: The Last Word in Zoos[edit | edit source]

As of "Bluff City Zoo TWO!" the Bluff City Zoo has recently acquired a large amount of land near the Bluff City Zoo with a plan to slowly develop this area into several satellite zoos (listed below). The "old" Bluff City Zoo will continue to operate as it has previously, although this expansion is seen as a second chance for the zoo.

Zoo 2[edit | edit source]

Marketed as a more hands-on zoo, this zoo promotes the idea that attendees will be able to interact with the animals directly. This includes lectures about various animals, shows, and exhibits.

Attractions at Zoo 2[edit | edit source]

  • Ri$h Fi$h exhibit: Features fish who have been bequeathed money in people's wills or who have "won" money at local casinos.
  • Eat With The Birds!: initially planned as an area where patrons could buy sandwiches for themselves and bird seed for the birds and then eat together. This idea was abandoned after it became clear than the birds would eat both the sandwiches and the seeds.

Zoo Free[edit | edit source]

Started by Dax Leopard, this zoo eventually formed a partnership with Zoo 2, though it maintained it's spirit of animal freedom and care.

Future Zoos[edit | edit source]

  • Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night
  • Zoo 4 Zoo Some More (proposed to include rides)
  • Zoo 5: Zoo’s Fine
  • Zoo 6: Hell’s Zoo (marked as '??') - “Those walkthrough haunted houses are really popular with the kids”
  • Zoo 8: the zoo of tomorrow
  • Zoo 9: the underwater zoo - this zoo was planned to be above ground but would use elements from the ocean, possibly similar to an aquarium
  • Zoo 14: this one’s on the moon

Zoo Staff Slack[edit | edit source]

Zoo staff are encouraged to communicate via the official Slack. Channels within the employee Slack are:

  • animal-drama
  • lunch-plans
  • moodboard
  • news-and-updates
  • ooo
  • random
  • tv-movies-music
  • zoo
  • zoo-2

Staff[edit | edit source]

  • Dax Leopard, former great cats keeper, former Zoo 2 small mammals keeper, current Zoo 2 manager and overseer of Zoo Free
  • Darren Cruiser, former pachyderm keeper, current keeper for the Zoo 3 nightclub/reptile enclosure
  • Never Watson-Wiley, former spokesperson
  • Boots Bonus, former intern
  • Councilman Ort, manager and councilman in charge of public zoos (deceased)
  • Dudley Brick House, former reptile keeper
  • Devin Zeller, former, position unknown
  • Georgia Zeller, management
  • Miranda, first aid officer
  • Ms Sloane, former manager
  • Maark, the guy who picks up peacock feathers