Episode Description[edit | edit source]
TONIGHT! AT THE PROMENADE ARENA, BLUFF CITY!
A SPECTACULAR OF FISTS AND FURY!
THE RETURN OF JAKE THE JACKAL! YES, HE’S BACK IN TOWN AND HE’S HERE TO SHOW THOSE MONSTERS THE ONLY THING THEY FEAR:
THEIR OWN GRAVE!
AND, FROM YOUR WILDEST DREAMS:
CHARLIE CUPID! HE’LL WIN YOUR HEART AND THEN HE’LL BREAK IT! EFFICIENTLY! OVER A SERIES OF WELL-PLANNED SPOTS!
ALSO! COUNT FAUSTOFLE THE THIRD!
HE’LL SUCK YOUR BLOOD! WE THINK? WE DOUBT JAKE WILL LIKE THAT! WE DOUBT IT A LOT!
BUT BEST OF ALL! FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN HERSELF! THE SEA GODDESS! THE MERMAID!
IT’S BLUFF CITY’S OWN AQUA ILLUSION! THERE’S NO ILLUSION HERE, FOLKS, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL!
8PM! THE PROMENADE ARENA! THE NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE! THE NIGHT OF ALL YOUR LIVES!
YOU’RE IN BLUFF CITY! THE MUSIC’S LOUD!
AND IT’S TIME TO WATCH SOMEONE GET THROWN THROUGH A TABLE!
Contents[edit | edit source]
Opening[edit | edit source]
“
You know, when I told Waxwing I was leaving, the first thing she asked was what I thought you all would do without me. But the thing is, there will be heroes in Bluff City long after I leave. There’s something in the blood or the spirit or the history of you humans that draws you to figures like me. And I don’t just mean to doctors or firefighters or soldiers, I mean those who understand the value of an icon—the power of a bright pair of boots and the potency of a cape and a catchphrase. You folks don’t need me flying around the shoreline; you have movies and comic books and wrestling!
You know that columnist Nathaniel Bridges? He once wrote that pro wrestling was an insult to people like me. The costumes and the signature moves, he said, were no more than craven mockeries of what the real heroes look like. But when I first showed up to this town, back when I was still insisting everyone call me the American Goldfinch, that same Nathaniel Bridges said that I was, and I quote, “a four color and two-bit knock off of the grapplers down at Promenade Arena.”
And you know what? He wasn’t wrong. My first costume—the one with the all black wings and that hideous beak mask—I stitched that thing together while watching Jeff Bereft Moran get revenge on that lobster wrestler who stole his pet dog! Which is why I’m not worried about leaving. I’ll miss you all, I’ll miss Waxwing; you, her, this whole city. You’ve been the loves of my life, but you are not my home.
Right now, there is a little girl tuning into the Saturday night show just like I did once. She’s gonna see Aqua Illusion, and Charlie Cupid, and Jake the Jackal, and all the rest leap from that top rope and fly through the air without any powers at all, and SHE is going to grow up to be Bluff City’s next great hero. She’ll have the sand, and the sea, and the chimes of the casino floor in her blood; that’s what you need in a hero, Bluff City, not someone like me, not this old Goldfinch.”
Plot[edit | edit source]
This episode is entirely character creation.
Cast[edit | edit source]
- Austin Walker as Creative
- Art Martinez-Tebbel (Jake the Jackal)
- Sylvia Clare (Charlie Cupid / Chuck Buckly)
- Andrew Lee Swan (Count Faustolfe the Third / Lenny Reed)
- Ali Acampora (Aqua Illusion / Erica Rizzo)
Other Characters[edit | edit source]
- Goldfinch (opening)
Gallery[edit | edit source]
A flyer for Promenade Wrestling by Lily Pfaff
