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{{Infobox Character|color_theme = bluff| title = Darren Cruiser|color_theme=bluff|pronouns = he/him/his|place_of_origin = [[Bluff City]]|player = [[Ali Acampora]]| appears_in = [[Bluff City Zoo Fiasco]]}}'''Darren Cruiser''' was the pachyderm habitat keeper at the [[Bluff City Zoo]] and is currently attempting to run his own company organising animal weddings. He is described as a “wicked fun guy” and “a coworker you have who parties a lot but who does a good job”.
<blockquote>''“A bro, a friend, a little bit of a go-getter.”''</blockquote>{{Infobox Character|color_theme = bluff| title = Darren Cruiser|pronouns = he/him|place_of_origin = [[Bluff City]]|player = [[Ali Acampora]]| appears_in = [[Bluff City Zoo Fiasco]], [[Live at the Table: Bluff City Zoo TWO! Pt. 1]]}}
 
'''Darren Cruiser''' was previously the pachyderm habitat keeper at the [[Bluff City Zoo]] and had a side-hustle organising animal weddings. Currently he works for the Bluff City Zoo 2 as a maintenance worker/cleaning up after the various Zoo 2 events.  


While at the Bluff City Zoo, he was enthusiastic about his job (“you can’t just take the job and only care for one animal”), and was promoted from peccary keeper to pachyderm keeper. He collaborated with his friend [[Dax Leopard]] to create fake exhibits as a way to save the Zoo money and generate interest in the exhibits.
While at the Bluff City Zoo, he was enthusiastic about his job (“you can’t just take the job and only care for one animal”), and was promoted from peccary keeper to pachyderm keeper. He collaborated with his friend [[Dax Leopard]] to create fake exhibits as a way to save the Zoo money and generate interest in the exhibits.


He and Dax are close friends inside and outside work, and use their shared Netflix account to watch Netflix while the animals they are keepers of “hang out”.
After collaborating with [[Boots Bonus]] to convince Dax to transfer one of his lionesses to the Trenton Zoo, he was affected by how "bummed out" the lion that remained was, and worked to get the lioness back. He then organised the lions vow renewal.
 
After this, he became frustrated by his lack of promotion at the Bluff City Zoo, and transferred to the Trenton Zoo in an attempt to get a higher-level position. When this did not happen, he tried to get out of his contract with the Trenton Zoo to return to the Bluff City Zoo, but this was not possible and so he quit to follow his dreams of performing animal weddings. After performing a chicken wedding at a Trenton school this business began to take off, however bad press about the lion wedding (and other schemes he was involved in while at the Bluff City Zoo) made it to Trenton, and his animal wedding licence was not renewed.
 
Prior to the first [[Bluff City Zoo Fiasco|Fiasco]] episode he features in, his girlfriend moved to Trenton resulting in their break-up (it was “the worst he’s ever felt”). When we see him again in the April 2023 fiasco arc, he has moved back to [[Bluff City (city)|Bluff City]] from [[Blough City]] where he had been living for the past few years since losing his Trenton job. He no longer wants to be the face of the zoo, and is trying to believe that love is real again after getting a new job at Zoo 2.
 
Prior to his move to Trenton, he and Dax were close friends inside and outside work, and used their shared Netflix account to watch Netflix while the animals they were keepers of “hang out”. Dax and Darren also had a secret handshake they did to indicate that they were on the same page with one another (the "bro page"), where they held their hands in front of them as though they were reading a book and then pointed a finger to their palm as thought they were pointing at a line in the book. They then said “bro page” aloud.


Dax and Darren also have a secret handshake they do to indicate that they are on the same page with one another (the "bro page"), where they hold their hands in front of them as though they are reading a book and then point a finger to their palm as thought they were pointing at a line in the book. They then say “bro page” aloud.
Some time after moving back to Bluff City, he entered and won a "how fast can you climb this ladder" game on the Bluff City Boardwalk. His winning time was the same as Dudley Brick House, and so both were awarded a year's supply of milk. To claim their prize, they must travel to the Ice Cream factory each week to pick up their milk  and have their picture taken each time (for the ice cream company’s instagram), “the cream of the top ladder contest: Bluff City: climb your way to a year’s supply of milk”, they cannot choose what kind of milk they receive (butter milk, 1%, chocolate milk, etc),The two were featured in a local BLuff City newspaper for their win and bonded over this making up their own secret handshake - fist bumping, miming drinking from a glass, and then saying the word “calcium” in unison.


After collaborating with [[Boots Bonus]] to convince Dax to transfer one of his lionesses to the Trenton Zoo, he was affected by how "bummed out" the lion that remained was, and worked to get the lioness back. He then organised the lions vow renewal.
He is described as a “wicked fun guy” and “a coworker you have who parties a lot but who does a good job”.


After this, he became frustrated by his lack of promotion at the Bluff City Zoo, and transferred to the Trenton Zoo in an attempt to get a higher-level position. When this did not happen, he tried to get out of his contract with the Trenton Zoo to return to the Bluff City Zoo, but this was not possible and so he quit to follow his dreams of performing animal weddings. After performing a chicken wedding at a Trenton school this business began to take off, however bad press about the lion wedding (and other schemes he was involved in while at the Bluff City Zoo) made it to Trenton, and his animal wedding licence was not renewed.
== Appearance ==
Darren looks like some of the men in the '[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9oZaP-my5E British Lads Hitting Each Other With Chairs]' video (specifically the one who picks the cigarette off the ground). When seen in the [[Live at the Table: Fiasco! Pt. 1|November 2018 Live Fiasco episodes]], he is in his late teens to early 20s, with a fit build, slicked back hair, and wears a hoodie with the sleeves cut off and pants that are a little too big for him with his shirt tucked into his belt.


Prior to the [[Bluff City Zoo Fiasco|Fiasco]] episode, his girlfriend moved to Trenton resulting in their break-up (it was “the worst he’s ever felt”).
When see in the [[Live at the Table: Bluff City Zoo TWO! Pt. 1|April 2023 Live Fiasco]] episodes, his energy is more similar to the twitter video where a shirtless man leans through an open car window to light the cigarette of the shirtless guy in the car with the end of his lit cigarette, captioned "be my one and only" (tweet and video sadly lost to time a the account is now deleted). He wears a Dragon Ball Z swatch (which is slow or has stopped).


Darren looks like some of the men in the '[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9oZaP-my5E British Lads Hitting Each Other With Chairs]' video (specifically the one who picks the cigarette off the ground). He is in his late teens to early 20s, with a fit build, slicked back hair, and wears a hoodie with the sleeves cut off and pants that are a little too big for him with his shirt tucked into his belt.
His facecast is [https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2023050/ Darren Criss], during his Glee era.


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[[Category:Ali characters]]
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Revision as of 11:21, 30 April 2023

“A bro, a friend, a little bit of a go-getter.”

Darren Cruiser was previously the pachyderm habitat keeper at the Bluff City Zoo and had a side-hustle organising animal weddings. Currently he works for the Bluff City Zoo 2 as a maintenance worker/cleaning up after the various Zoo 2 events.

While at the Bluff City Zoo, he was enthusiastic about his job (“you can’t just take the job and only care for one animal”), and was promoted from peccary keeper to pachyderm keeper. He collaborated with his friend Dax Leopard to create fake exhibits as a way to save the Zoo money and generate interest in the exhibits.

After collaborating with Boots Bonus to convince Dax to transfer one of his lionesses to the Trenton Zoo, he was affected by how "bummed out" the lion that remained was, and worked to get the lioness back. He then organised the lions vow renewal.

After this, he became frustrated by his lack of promotion at the Bluff City Zoo, and transferred to the Trenton Zoo in an attempt to get a higher-level position. When this did not happen, he tried to get out of his contract with the Trenton Zoo to return to the Bluff City Zoo, but this was not possible and so he quit to follow his dreams of performing animal weddings. After performing a chicken wedding at a Trenton school this business began to take off, however bad press about the lion wedding (and other schemes he was involved in while at the Bluff City Zoo) made it to Trenton, and his animal wedding licence was not renewed.

Prior to the first Fiasco episode he features in, his girlfriend moved to Trenton resulting in their break-up (it was “the worst he’s ever felt”). When we see him again in the April 2023 fiasco arc, he has moved back to Bluff City from Blough City where he had been living for the past few years since losing his Trenton job. He no longer wants to be the face of the zoo, and is trying to believe that love is real again after getting a new job at Zoo 2.

Prior to his move to Trenton, he and Dax were close friends inside and outside work, and used their shared Netflix account to watch Netflix while the animals they were keepers of “hang out”. Dax and Darren also had a secret handshake they did to indicate that they were on the same page with one another (the "bro page"), where they held their hands in front of them as though they were reading a book and then pointed a finger to their palm as thought they were pointing at a line in the book. They then said “bro page” aloud.

Some time after moving back to Bluff City, he entered and won a "how fast can you climb this ladder" game on the Bluff City Boardwalk. His winning time was the same as Dudley Brick House, and so both were awarded a year's supply of milk. To claim their prize, they must travel to the Ice Cream factory each week to pick up their milk and have their picture taken each time (for the ice cream company’s instagram), “the cream of the top ladder contest: Bluff City: climb your way to a year’s supply of milk”, they cannot choose what kind of milk they receive (butter milk, 1%, chocolate milk, etc),The two were featured in a local BLuff City newspaper for their win and bonded over this making up their own secret handshake - fist bumping, miming drinking from a glass, and then saying the word “calcium” in unison.

He is described as a “wicked fun guy” and “a coworker you have who parties a lot but who does a good job”.

Appearance

Darren looks like some of the men in the 'British Lads Hitting Each Other With Chairs' video (specifically the one who picks the cigarette off the ground). When seen in the November 2018 Live Fiasco episodes, he is in his late teens to early 20s, with a fit build, slicked back hair, and wears a hoodie with the sleeves cut off and pants that are a little too big for him with his shirt tucked into his belt.

When see in the April 2023 Live Fiasco episodes, his energy is more similar to the twitter video where a shirtless man leans through an open car window to light the cigarette of the shirtless guy in the car with the end of his lit cigarette, captioned "be my one and only" (tweet and video sadly lost to time a the account is now deleted). He wears a Dragon Ball Z swatch (which is slow or has stopped).

His facecast is Darren Criss, during his Glee era.