Episode Description
"Hey everyone, welcome to a very special bonus episode of Friends at the Table. As we said on Twitter, we're currently taking a few weeks off after the end of Kingdom to catch up on things, prep for the rest of PARTIZAN, and generally take a break. Many of us here on the show have spent some of that break by playing Blaseball, the internet sensation that VICE's Gita Jackson describes as "an online, joke-y, facsimile of [baseball] ... about baseball fandom, and the bullshit that goes along with it."
It's an absolute blast, and because so many of us were getting into it, Art had the great idea of wanting to sponsor a season or two of the game. So, he reached out, we chatted with the folks behind Blaseball (though we didn't get to meet the commissioner himself), and here we are.
If you are just joining us for the first time as a fan of Blaseball who doesn't know anything about us, we hope this episode is an enjoyable introduction into the sort of stories we tell and games we play. If you're a fan of ours who is itching for more PARTIZAN, well, I hope this visit to a figure from the past helps sate that thirst.
If you'd like to check out Sports Are Just Numerology by Ben Roswell, the game we play in this bonus episode, you can do that by clicking right here.
We'll be taking this week and potentially next week off, but please look forward to our return. Have some great stuff in the can already. Until then, be safe, have fun, and go Millennials!"
Plot
Chronicles the relationship between Memphis Longhand and his rival Trio Trifecta. Begins with their meeting at the end of their entwined careers in the Orion Combine Mechanized Sports Association Hall Of Fame, then uses randomly-generated numbers as prompts to tell the story of how they arrived there.
The numbers are as follows:
- 32nd day of the 9th month: Day Memphis & Trio met on the field of the Safehaven League.
- .34905: Trio's batting average in their first year competing.
- 18-42: The losing score of Memphis's first Iron Gridiron match-up with Trio.
- 46: Number of touchdowns thrown by Trio in their first season of Iron Gridiron.
- 9: Memphis's score on a par 4 hole when Trio showed up in the gallery.
- 139-276: The somehow losing fishing score in the Zero-Gravity Double-Body Angling Tournament.
- 1921: The boat brand endorsed by Memphis during the war; slogan by Memphis: "When it's done, you'll want it 21".
- 0-91: Score of Iron Gridiron Championship game Trio threw; results in giving Memphis a ring which he then incinerates.
- 8-10-594: Date of first Safehaven game Memphis played after returning from the war.
- 2: Number of MVPs awarded in Safehaven the year Memphis returns.
- 23: Number of championships Memphis and Trio won across all sports after they were made a permanent duo (one less than needed by Trio to retire).
- 98-25: Score of their final Safehaven match after Memphis came out of retirement.
Cast