Bluff City 10: The Grapplers Down at Promenade Arena Pt. 2

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Episode description[edit | edit source]


PLEASE don’t steal this and repost it on other blogs!! I worked HARD tasting all these snacks!!

Hi guys and thanks for checking in to Bluff City Snacks, the snacks guide you love to trust for the snacks you LOVE to crunch. Today we’re going to be taking a look at what’s available at the Promenade Arena. If you want to see what snacks we recommend for the Promenade itself, please check our “casinos” section, THESE ARE ONLY SNACKS FOR THE ARENA so don’t message me asking about the buffet, now let’s get to it.

- Hot Dogs: The hot dogs in the Promenade Arena are in my opinion not much to write home about. Soggy. Bad toppings (mustard, ketchup, bluff sauce). Good to eat if you need some food but bad to eat if you want it to be good.

- Corn Dogs: Great! Incredible! I don’t know what’s going on over at the corn dog stand that they’re missing at hot dogs but it sure is something.

- Churros: So I wasn’t into these for years but if you get them at the booth near the VIP area there’s some sort of special sugar situation going on - I guess it’s cinnamon but I’m way into it.

- Ice Cream: Strawberry, fine. Chocolate, bad. Vanilla, Bad. Mint, good. On some fridays they sell the fancier stuff from the casino and that’s when you should go for it. 

I am NOT reviewing the BEER so stop asking me to!!!! If you want to see beer reviews please check out my sister site, BLUFF CITY BEER (A GUIDE), and have a nice day!

Contents[edit | edit source]

Opening Narration[edit | edit source]

You know, Goldfinch and me, we had a secret. Well, we had a lot of secrets, but she’s gone now, obviously, and that means I can be a gossip without getting a lecture from the city’s favorite hero.

Do you know where we met for the first time? Tryouts. This was before I was Waxwing, you know, I was 19, I had dropped out of community college. I knew I had these powers but I didn’t feel, like, special, you know? And so when one of those touring circuits from down South came to town, I jumped on the chance to flex a little muscle. I knew a little of this, a little of that, and it felt like a chance to be someone.

The thing is, it was different times, you know? After all, the open call was for, quote, “beautiful ladies of the ring.” They couldn’t have expected Goldfinch and me, beautiful fighters. By the second time she put me in an arm bar, I knew that she was special in the way I wanted to be. And I think the first time I got up from one of her clotheslines she knew I was no joke either.

We put on a show that night. God, I wish there was tape of it, even if it would mean the end of this whole secret identity thing. Just to have a taste of that old magic back. To see where it all started. To see her young and trouble-free.

The two of us wouldn’t team up to fight crime together for another year, and no one would know our names for another two after that. But I knew, in the ring that night, that I’d never be me unless I was with her.

So off the record, what the hell do you want me to say? That I’m not mad she left us, left me to go back to some so-called home she’s never been to? That Bluff City’ll be fine, that I’m ready to step up? ‘Cause I’m not. I’m ready to take the mask off, put the TV on, and disappear. Maybe you’ll see me in the crowd.

You want a quote? Here’s a quote. If you wanna see a hero in Bluff City, then you’d better buy a ticket to the Promenade.

Plot[edit | edit source]

The week before the story begins, a Promenade Wrestling match ends with an announcement from a representative of Constitution Sports Entertainment (CSE): the name of Promenade’s mid-level championship match would be Constitution Day.

While the fans are excited over the mystery, the wrestlers themselves know the behind-the-scenes details of the match: the Promenade wrestlers are told that Ms Carlisle, the representative for CSE, will be attending the Constitution Day event as a talent scout and will “sign the constitution” (meaning that they will be offering a contract to one of the Promenade wrestlers to come over to CSE). The role itself is unclear, although they are assured that it will not be "demeaning".

The wrestlers go through their pre-match rituals as the lights go on in the area. The House enters along with Simeon Shaw and his friends Chet and Bingo, and wrestlers Beaches and Taffy. Simeon announces Ms Carlisle and she explains the outcome of the event to the audience (“the opportunity of a lifetime”).

Backstage, a series of interviews with the wrestlers takes place, with the wrestlers talking about who they think deserves the CSE contract. Aqua Illusion, interviewed in front of a small fish tank, says that she knows Ms Carslie will be impressed by her (“I come from the ocean, I’m not here to be in this small pond”). She has been booked a match with Blackjack, and Jeff prompts her to speak about it. Aqua says that “when the waves hit Blackjack’s gonna get washed ashore”. The camera cuts to Blackjack, watching the interview.

Count Faustolfe and Jake the Jackal open the show. As Count Faustolfe enters, he insults the crowd (“it is very obvious that I, Count Faustolfe the Third, do not belong here in this garbage dump”). The match begins with old-school collar-and-elbow, and Jake overpowers Count Faustolfe into a corner of the ring and the ref breaks it up. They move apart, and Jake starts punching him. This gets broken up again, and Jake poses to the crowd. While he is distracted, Count Faustolfe gets him from behind and pushes Jake chest-first into the ropes and gets him in a schoolboy pin. It sticks for a one count before Jake breaks out of it, clearly deciding to take Count Faustolfe more seriously.

Ross Rossy expresses surprise at Count Faustolfe’s abilities, although Jeff says it is because of his “family lineage”.

Jake wips Count Faustolfe into the ropes, clotheslines on the rebound, then picks up Count Faustolfe and gives him a side slam. Jake takes a moment, holding his arm up to the crowd, and puts Count Faustolfe into a leg grapevine. It’s partially a rest hold to give Jake a break, but Count Faustolfe sells the move hard, reaching for the ropes. The audience begins chanting for Count Faustolfe.

Count Faustolfe stands up on the edge, and Jake picks him up and throws him out of the ring. The landing isn’t as close to the barricade as it should be, but Jeff sells it as Count Faustolfe “scurrying away” from Jake’s power. Count Faustolfe sits in the corner of the barricade, brooding, for a moment, then points up at Jake, buoyed up by the audience’s support and enjoying himself more than he has in years. The audience loves it (“you don’t suck! You don’t suck! You don’t suck!”).

He climbs over the ropes and leaps at Jake, hitting Jake with a clothesline and putting Jake in the garlic clutch (similar to a cobra crutch). Jake goes limp to sell the move, whispering encouragement to Count Faustolfe (“this is the hottest match I think I’ve ever seen you have”). On the third count, Jake shakes himself awake and breaks out of the hold.

The two do some back-and-forth brawling, leading up to Jake gets a hit to Count Faustolfe’s face, catches him in a whip and pins him for a two count. Jake hits Count Faustolfe with one of his signature moves, The Exorcism (similar to the pearl river plunge).

Count Faustolfe rolls out from under the ropes and walks around the ring, dazed. Jake rolls out after him, stalking after him. They get into another back and forth. Count Faustolfe ducks under a punch and lunges at Jake, pushing him into the barrier. The ref begins a count to ten for them both being out of the ring as they both struggle to get their feet back from under them.

The lights of the arena go dark and Monster House enters through the crowd and hops through the barrier and bulldogs Count Faustolfe to the ground. They announce that if someone other than a member of Monster House wins the CSE contract, then they will force someone else to join Monster House.

Count Faustolfe begins arguing with the ref to stop the ref from stopping the match, distracting the ref as Monster House gets in some hits to Jake. Count Faustolfe rolls a dazed Jake into the ring and pins him for the win. Monster House returns and celebrates with Count Faustolfe, giving him a new velvet Monster House letterman jacket to welcome him into the group (“we’re gonna go from a monster house to a monster home”).

Count Faustolfe demands a tag team match between himself and Mr Sasquatch versus Jake and the partner of his choice, and Jake accepts. Monster House leaves, leaving Jake alone in the ring.

Backstage, Jeff interviews Charlie Cupid, who is gazing at himself in the mirror. Jeff says he’s worried that Charlie will leave them behind, and Charlie says that he understands that the idea of losing him will be hard (“they don’t have much to look up to”), but that “you can’t contain greatness”. However, Charlie doesn’t have a match booked that night. He demands one, or else “maybe we’ll be saying goodbye to Charlie Cupid sooner than you think”. The crowd reacts mostly ambivalently to this.

In the ring, Dione Gabro faces off against Kansas City Kate in a “winner gets a shot” match, in which the winner will get to go up against Taffy later in the night for the Boardwalk Championship Belt. During their match, the lights turn blue and the sound of keyboards typing can be heard, signally the potential interference by The Protocol, although they do not run out.

Meanwhile backstage, Jake goes to Simeon to ask about the contract being offered. Simeon is watching footage of the current match in his office, throwing punches to mimic the moves of the wrestlers. They talk briefly about the crowd and the match Jake just had before moving onto the CSE contract. Simeon explains his reasoning behind it, that if someone from their company goes to a larger one and then returns, they’ll bring a larger audience with them. Jake dislikes this, as many of the wrestlers (himself included) have built their lives in Bluff City and would have to leave Bluff City to take the contract.

Simeon says that Jake doesn’t have to worry as it probably won’t be Jake that gets the contract. Jake says that he didn’t think it would be, but that he finds it odd that he doesn’t know who is going to win. Simeon replies that no one does, and the outcome of the contract really will be decided by who Ms Carlise believes the crowd likes the most at the end of the night. Jake tells him that this is messing with people’s lives unnecessarily, but Simeon doesn’t agree.

Aqua Illusion congratulates Lenny on his match, and he expresses surprise at how much he enjoyed it.

Back in the ring, there is a novelty three-on-one match with Mantruck facing off against Ghoul, Beaches, and “Sweet” Bell Moran. Jake runs in to assist Mantruck, attacking Ghoul to help Mantruck get out of a pin. Mantruck does a ‘honk honk’ motion and the crowd goes wild. Simeon enters, trying to hype the crowd up to see the two of them fighting monster house.

He directs the backstage camera to show Monster House, who are hanging out at Jake’s card table and are not ready for the promo but recover smoothly (“Excellent [...] Most excellent”).

Back in the ring, Jake cuts a very pro-Bluff City, anti-Monster House promo, and challenges them to an Unconsecrated Cage Match (a match in which you can use Halloween-themed items which takes place in a cage).

Dione Gabro goes up against Taffy. Dione is just about to win and The Protocol interrupts the match, kicking the Boardwalk Championship belt out of the ring and announcing that they believe that no one who is wrestling together has shown any talent worthy of facing them. They offer an open challenge for the tag team belt, but only under the condition that the tag teams going up against them have never wrestled together before.

Cast[edit | edit source]

Other Characters[edit | edit source]

Gallery[edit | edit source]