Darren Cruiser

Darren Cruiser
Basic Information
Pronouns	he/him/his
Place of Origin	Bluff City
Meta Info
Player	Ali Acampora
Appears In	Bluff City Zoo Fiasco

Darren Cruiser was the pachyderm habitat keeper at the Bluff City Zoo and is currently attempting to run his own company organising animal weddings. He is described as a “wicked fun guy” and “a coworker you have who parties a lot but who does a good job”.

While at the Bluff City Zoo, he was enthusiastic about his job (“you can’t just take the job and only care for one animal”), and was promoted from peccary keeper to pachyderm keeper. He collaborated with his friend Dax Leopard to create fake exhibits as a way to save the Zoo money and generate interest in the exhibits.

He and Dax are close friends inside and outside work, and use their shared Netflix account to watch Netflix while the animals they are keepers of “hang out”.

Dax and Darren also have a secret handshake they do to indicate that they are on the same page with one another (the "bro page"), where they hold their hands in front of them as though they are reading a book and then point a finger to their palm as thought they were pointing at a line in the book. They then say “bro page” aloud.

After collaborating with Boots Bonus to convince Dax to transfer one of his lionesses to the Trenton Zoo, he was affected by how "bummed out" the lion that remained was, and worked to get the lioness back. He then organised the lions vow renewal.

After this, he became frustrated by his lack of promotion at the Bluff City Zoo, and transferred to the Trenton Zoo in an attempt to get a higher-level position. When this did not happen, he tried to get out of his contract with the Trenton Zoo to return to the Bluff City Zoo, but this was not possible and so he quit to follow his dreams of performing animal weddings. After performing a chicken wedding at a Trenton school this business began to take off, however bad press about the lion wedding (and other schemes he was involved in while at the Bluff City Zoo) made it to Trenton, and his animal wedding licence was not renewed.

Prior to the Fiasco episode, his girlfriend moved to Trenton resulting in their break-up (it was “the worst he’s ever felt”).

Darren looks like some of the men in the 'British Lads Hitting Each Other With Chairs' video (specifically the one who picks the cigarette off the ground). He is in his late teens to early 20s, with a fit build, slicked back hair, and wears a hoodie with the sleeves cut off and pants that are a little too big for him with his shirt tucked into his belt.