Episode description[edit | edit source]
This episode carries content warnings for slavery and indentured servitude, kidnapping, discussion of taxidermy, animals bred to be hunted, blood, injury, physical harm, death, and the discussion of sports-related injuries.
It is often noted that the Bilateral Commission (formerly the Curtain) is mostly comprised of people from Stels Kesh and Nideo, and likewise that the Pact is largely made up of Apostolosians and Columnar. Room is made for exceptions because, in many cases, such cases are all the more important.
Thus could be the case of Exanceaster March, Columnar data magnate and long time friend of the (ever diminishing) Solstice family of Kesh. Today, the troubled aristocrats bring their powerful ally to their estate for a visit, during which they hope to persuade March to leave the Pact behind.
For the Solstice family, this could be everything they need to be catapulted back into the upper crust. For their servants, it will be just one more hellish event left for them to clean up after.
This week on the Road to PALISADE: Upstairs & Downstairs
Records Recovered from the Divine, Arbitrage[edit | edit source]
Factions[edit | edit source]
The Bilateral Intercession: This faction, made up primarily from Stel Nideo and Kesh assets, was formerly known as the Curtain. The rebranding comes as part of a “civil coup” performed by Cynosure Whitestar-Kesh. In a move that surprised no group more than the Curtain themselves, Cynosure spent years growing in confidence and power, until that intelligence organization could be once again reduced to a tool. Still defined by their traditionalism, they wield their control on culture, religion, and history as a weapon—and the extensive spy network for which they are named when those come up short. The Pact of Free States: While the Bilateral Intercession’s name change reflects a shift in leadership and posture for the Curtain, the shift from “The Pact of Necessary Venture” to “The Pact of Free States” is simply the public acceptance of what was already widely understood to be true. Led in name by Dahlia, the Glorious Princept, and in day-to-day operation by senior members of Stels Apostolos and Columnar, the Pact paint themselves as liberal reformists whose aim is to increase the degree of autonomy in each of the Stels, such that they become in reality five separate nations. The Branched: A post-human culture from the Golden Branch star sector who have transformed their bodies into spectacular forms, but who are now weighed down by an endless war with the Principality. Persons[edit | edit source]
Crevera Solstice (she/her): (Largely absent) matriarch of the Solstice family. Coughton Solstice (he/him): Crevera’s husband. An absolute pushover. Carvisle Solstice (he/him): The cruel son of Somerset House. Catalina Solstice (she/her): Adventurous older daughter of the house, who’s never met a cause she wouldn’t turn into a vanity project. Catrina Solstice (she/her): Morose younger daughter of the house with a special interest in taxidermy. Exanceaster March (he/him): Head of the vast Columnar multi-system conglomerate called the Frontier Syndicate, which is older than the Stel itself. While the Syndicate has its hands in many enterprises, the heart of it all is corralling and instrumentalizing data. One such effort, Exanceaster’s pet project the March Anecdatist Foundation, set its sights on Palisade as a testing ground. Guliford Gain (she/her): March’s bodyguard. Cinephile. Bel’Agos Bloom (bel/bels, they/them): Pact admiral and March’s sibling-in-law. Laris, Leah, and Laurice: March’s servants. Indentured indefinitely. Vivian Exler (she/her): Somerset House’s “award winning” gardener and groundskeeper. Martine Sprue (she/her): Somerset House’s mechanic, in charge of the family’s small fleet of terrible machines. Eileen Lilas (she/her): One of Somerset House’s maidservants and erstwhile companion to Catrina. Locations[edit | edit source]
Kaliope: A planet at the very periphery of the Golden Branch star sector. Once, it was known for cutting edge genetic modifications, avant garde fashion, and a streak of anti-authoritarianism. Now it is just one jewel on the bracelet of the principality. Somerset House: Estate of the Solstice family, deep in the forests of Kaliope. It’s hidden away and defensible, but some say that it carries a dark past connected to the Branched..
Contents[edit | edit source]
Opening[edit | edit source]
“
UNKNOWN SPEAKER 1: Dinner's ready!
AUSTIN as UNKNOWN 2: Thanks, honey. Just give people a few more seconds… Okay.
[Loud mic interference]
[Metal clinking on glass]
AUSTIN as UNKNOWN 2: Hey. Hey, hey everybody. Hi. First of all, I just wanted to say, thank you so much for being here. I know that travel right now, even with the new laws… I know it took a lot for people to get here, so thank you. I know for a while we weren't even sure if… We weren't even sure if we would, uh, do this, this year, given everything. But it is important. You know, Keftin, um, Keftin normally does this. But well, I think since we lost him this year, I would, um, I would try to do my best to keep the holiday spirit alive, keep his spirit alive.
You know, Keft used to, every year since the first time we celebrated, he used to tell me that this was one of our earliest holidays as a people. Like, old old. Older than the Stels. You know the story. Our enemies had killed, um – how did he say it? He would say, “Our enemies had driven us to the stars. They'd killed our gods. Almost all of them. But we held out hope. And we prayed. And the Divines that we had left, they prayed too, and human or synthetic or Apostolosian, we all came together and hoped that a new Divine would show up and save us. And we tried to build one and it didn't work, and the Divines tried to will one into existence and it didn't work, and the synthetics tried to develop themselves into Divines and it didn't work. And then one day we realized Patina was right there with us all along.”
And that's why it was important to Keftin and it's why it's important to me, still. You know, like a lot of us these days, we're a mixed family, and it's a reminder, we might be neighbors or enemies, we might be Apostolosian or Kesh or Pact or Bilateral Commission or Orion, but whatever we are, we're not alone.”
“
My name is Layer Luxurious, but the name of the man speaking a moment ago? That was lost to history, the video's metadata pointing only to a small city on a small planet which unfortunately became caught up in the war just days after this was recorded. But I do know one thing. Listen past the bad audio quality and the inaccurate story of Patina and you'll find a regular person caught up in something too big to make sense of. This show has focused a lot on magnates and ministers, gentry and generals, but today we're focused on regular people. We're going downstairs.”
Plot[edit | edit source]
Somerset House prepares to host a very important dinner for a family friend, Exanceaster March, who they hope to sway towards joining the Bilateral Intercession and in doing so restore the standing of the Solstice family. The siblings Catrina Solstice, Carvisle Solstice, and Catalina Solstice, alongside their father Coughton Solstice, meet March only to discover he has brought an additional guest, his sibling-in-law Bel’Agos Bloom, an Apostolisian admiral for the Pact of Free States. Bel’Agos and March, alongside March’s bodyguard Guilford Gain, and his three servants, make their way to Somerset House. Back at the house the servant Eileen Lilas prepares an additional room, and Martine Sprue, the house mechanic, and Vivian Exler, the house gardener, bicker. Coughton calls in a panic requesting the staff to prepare some kind of activity that can allow him to separate March from Bel’Agos so he can speak with him alone, and proposes they do a sport hunt.
Once the guests make it to the house, Guilford insists on getting a room across from March, which Eileen prepares. Catrina makes small talk with March and gets invited to his half of the hunting party. While Catrina makes a good show of the hunt, Carvisle accidentally shoots Coughton in the shoulder, and the hunters put out a signal for aid. Back at the house Vivian prepares to break into Guilford’s room with Eileen keeping watch. Vivian picks the lock on one of the bags using skills she learned from reading Millennium Break zines she downloaded over the Strand Semaphore and discovers to their horror that Guilford’s bag contains a device that can summon an escape pod, guns, zip ties, three gas masks, and a ticking bomb, set to go off in the middle of dinner. Martine arrives to alert Eileen that there’s been an injury in the maze, only to discover the bomb situation. Coughton bleeds out in the maze while the staff tries to figure out what to do next.